Joe asks 'Is it me or what?'

Coffee Break

It's been a long time since my last post. It all seemed to be going well when I wrote Survivor Guilt.

 

I was working entirely from home rather than half and half and I had Fridays off as my firm moved to a four-day week. Like many others, I had such plans: improve my foreign languages; crack on with the novel I have started three times and am yet to finish the first chapter; all those home improvements. Out of these, the last has had the most success but even that has been restricted to organising rather than doing.

 

One of the reasons for so few posts is that most of mine are about incidents in life and not going out much for eighteen months puts a damper on that but I also have an interest in language and this post was spurred on as I queued for coffee after taking our dogs for a walk (to be fair my wife takes them and I provide moral support and buy the refreshments afterwards).

 

As I was waiting to be served I noticed their sign read Cappucino. I have found out after many false starts that no one wants their spelling mistakes pointed out, it should be Cappuccino (mnemonic think two CuPs of coffee to match the two central Ps and Cs).

 

However, what started me wondering was that I knew there is a type of monkey called a Capuchin and I knew there was a religious order called the Capuchins

- so how were these three related and which came first?

 

The word cappuccio meant a hooded cape of a type favoured by monks and worn by many orders including the Camaldolese. The diminutive, meaning a small-hooded cape, is cappuccino.

The actual Capuchin friars were founded as a splinter faction of The Franciscans in 1525 when Matteo da Bascio and others decided that the Franciscans, founded over three hundred years previously by Francis of Assisi, had strayed too far from their founder's way especially in matters of simplicity and discipline. They were given shelter by the Camaldolese and started to wear the same garments and took their popular name from the hooded cape.

 

Next came the monkeys which inhabit south and central America. They were named after the friars because of their colouring. I couldn't find out exactly when the monkeys were named but it appears to be sometime after their discovery (by Europeans that is...) in the early sixteenth century given that the Capuchin friars weren't well-known until later.

 

Finally comes the coffee drink. It was also named after the friars in the seventeenth century but was a different drink from one we know today. It took a couple of hundred years, at least, to settle down into what you will get when you order one now. Whether or not the idea of the monkey also influenced the name is not known for sure but it seems likely.

 

 

So now you know - to sum up, it was Capuchin friars, Capuchin Monkeys and then the coffee and don't forget - it's caPPuCCino.

The Great Game

I spent last week in Bangalore on a visit to an IT firm we use at Kaplan UK, where I work. The firm was started by one of our ex-employees who relocated back to India and although technically they’re a private company for day-to-day purposes they just behave as a remote development team. This posts documents some of what I saw and my thoughts on the trip and India in general.

It’s a long flight from London, even direct with British Airways it was over nine hours which, with the predictable faffing at the airport meant a journey time over fifteen hours starting from Queen’s Park. (Why is it that, however much information you provide to airlines in advance, and even do the online check-in, they still spend ages tapping away on the keyboard – even copying passport data – when you drop your bag off?)

We were met at Bangalore airport and driven to our hotel, The Paul. This was our first introduction to the phenomenon of Indian driving and, being as I’m a nervous passenger, was scary to say the least. There’s no lane discipline, no room left between vehicles and you must sound your horn if you’re about to overtake to warn the person ahead not to veer to either side.

We also had the chance to see the rather dishevelled nature of Bangalore, poor quality roads, virtually no street lighting and generally grotty shops and businesses. Apparently India prioritises spending on education over infrastructure if a choice has to be made; remember this is one of the larger cities with a population comparable to London, so I’d expected it to be a bit more up market for India. There is however signs of improvement, a new rail service has opened recently to aid intra-city travel and there are plenty of new roads and buildings under construction. The big technology parks, Bangalore is an IT hub, also provide well-appointed office facilities for many Indian and international businesses. In fact the office where we’d be was just outside one of these and was very pleasant to work in.

The Paul hotel is officially five stars, the service is great, although again, like the airports, check-in took ages for no discernible reason. It wouldn’t get five stars in England though, despite its well-appointed decor it turns off the hot water at night so I couldn’t have a proper shave before eight thirty in the morning.

Manual labour is cheap in India which explains why you get the sorts of staffing levels at places like airports and stations that you only see in England whilst watching Brief Encounter. As an example I had my boarding pass checked seven times, three times within thirty feet and in areas that you’d already had to go through dozens of checks to enter. The office we worked in, which had fewer than a dozen technical staff also had two full-time office administrators, that’s two more than my London one has with its staff of about fifty.

I had intended to be circumspect about what I ate whilst away. I wasn’t going to go completely vegetarian, although that was advised by many, but my cautious plans went out the window at the first opportunity. The first night we were taken to dine in one of the Paul’s restaurants, which specialised in sea food. Given that Bangalore is about ten hours drive from the sea in all directions this seemed a risky proposition but it felt like to refuse would have been a great insult to our hosts. So I tucked into a very good meal of fish curry, a Keralan speciality, and hoped for the best. I wasn’t disappointed and had no problems the whole trip. My only concession was to limit food on the go to vegetarian options such as samosas, although I was told that only tourists order these. beware though of the water, even our hosts stuck to bottled or filtered water, apparently tap water is only drunk by those who can’t afford better. I took the conservative view that beer was the safest bet.

The picture here shows a typically baffling site, I encountered the musician with his decorated cow on the way to work one morning. He was calling at houses asking for money, if none was received he kept playing. Needless to say he also wanted money from me when I took his photo.

Even though I often pick up a smattering of languages quite quickly I struggled in India. Hindi is the official language and English is widely spoken but each state has its own language. This continues to smaller regions, there are estimates of some 500 to 1000 active languages throughout the country. Most signs in Bangalore are in the language of its state, Karnataka, which is Kannada, this is also what locals use to communicate. Both Hindi and Kannada and written in a script which really needs serious study to pick up and unfortunately I hadn’t had time to do so before I left. So other than odd words like thank you I left with no knowledge of either Hindi or Kannada.

After the best part of four solid days working, and trips to three more restaurants and a shopping spree, we set off late Friday afternoon for a trip to Bandipur Tiger Reserve. The passenger foot brake was tested to its limits in the five plus hours it took to get there, I had become more immune to the general driving madness but the overtaking, especially at night when at least half the vehicles had no lights (or worse cars with only one headlamp so it looked like a bike), was still a time of prayer to any gods that might be listening.

We arrived safely though and this was my first introduction to India’s tourist pricing system, foreigners pay at least ten times what the locals pay. I can see the pros and cons of this but at the end of the day you pay less than what you would in England anyway. The reserve never lived up to its promise of an actual tiger but we did see other wildlife and it was a pleasant early morning safari through forest that could have been in the UK. We returned to Bangalore via Mysore, which houses an old palace, in very large grounds, and it was a fascinating history lesson as well as an example of the grandeur that was prevalent when the rajas ruled the land.

To sum up my thoughts on the whole experience:

• A fascinating culture, I don’t think I could ever hope to understand
• A very religious place, although I’m not sure how much is actually belief and how much just ritualistic; you can say that about most religions though
• Terrible pervasive poverty leading to many beggars and persistently being asked to buy rubbish from street vendors; there is a large middle class and some very wealthy people though
• A wonderful history although I’m still ashamed by some of the things that the British were responsible for
• I’d never want to live there, however another visit is definitely on the cards, preferably for a longer time, one week is too short giving the travelling time there and back and it is a very big place

I would look on any trip there as an education rather than a holiday, it really is a whole new world.

Spot the Difference

Two news stories this week with a common theme.

A drunken student in Edinburgh is convicted for a racist breach of the peace after accusing someone of being a terrorist and putting his hands down his trousers before wiping them on the Israeli flag. He gets a criminal conviction and 150 hours community service (just time to paint a minister’s flat with two coats).

In the second a group of about 60 so called Muslims burn the US flag at a 9/11 memorial service in Grosvenor Square, London. Some of these are the same ones who burned poppies on Armistice Day. They claim Obama is a terrorist. They also chant that their dead are in paradise, their deceased foes in hell (no evidence produced to back either claim). Result: police protection as they are exercising their right to free speech.

Ill Conceived

An advert for ice-cream featuring a pregnant nun was banned recently by the Advertising Standards Authority. The advert had the strapline Immaculately Conceived and the creators denied it mocked the Catholic religion. Actually it really only showed their ignorance, the Catholic belief in the immaculate conception has nothing to do with Mary becoming pregnant through divine power, that’s known as the virgin birth. The confusion is one that is constantly made though, even by Catholics.

More annoying in my mind was the recent advert I saw on the tube, shown here. It featured an acrostic and the final phrases is It’s name? – Shame on the proof reader who let that through.

Jesus Goes Shopping

So the Bishop of Reading has stated that the Church of England should shake off its middle class image as a Marks & Spencer type church, Jesus, being a man of the people, would most likely have shopped at Aldi or Asda.

My mind turned to a famous story in the bible, the feeding of the five thousand…

Peter the fisherman: Master, all these people are hungry, they have travelled far to hear your voice.

Jesus: Bring me five loaves and two fishes, I will feed them.

Peter, after some scrabbling around: Sorry Master, all we have is this stale pitta bread.

Jesus, muttering somewhat: Give me strength.

Jesus: Okay, no problem, I’ll pop into Aldi.

Peter: But Lord, there’s an M & S a short distance from here.

Jesus: You’re not infallible yet Peter, we need to get away from that sort of image, Aldi will be fine.

After wandering around Aldi trying to find the right section

Jesus: Why do they keep moving things around?

Eventually he finds bread and frozen fish fingers

Jesus: I think I'll use this line here, 7 items or less, typical Aldi, should be 'fewer'.

Cashier: Okay that's five small Aldi own brand loaves.

She starts scanning them individually

Jesus: Perhaps it would be quicker to scan one as there all the same?

Cashier: Sorry, it's company policy, all items must be scanned.

Jesus: Only trying to help.

This chat has caused a delay and people behind are getting restless

Cashier: Oh, you've bought two packets of fish fingers, we've a 3 for 2 offer on those, do you want to get another packet?

Jesus: Okay.

He wanders off, meanwhile fish fingers have been moved to a different aisle so takes a while to return.

Cashier: Okay, well they're free, but you'll need to use a different aisle now, you've got eight items.

Jesus, sensing more unrest from the queue behind: Well perhaps I won't bother, I shouldn't need more than two anyway, I'm only feeding 5000.

Cashier: Whatever... That'll be £6.66, do you have an Aldi card?

Jesus: No.

Cashier: You can apply, I can get you a form and you get a free shopping bag.

Jesus, sensing even more unrest behind him: No that's fine.

Cashier: Do you want cashback?

Calls of hurry up and worse from queue.

Jesus, handing over a note: Er, no thanks I'll pay cash.

Cashier: Oh, I haven't got the change, rings bell for help.

At this stage the mob behind lose patience and start to harangue the cashier

Jesus: Peace my children, violence is never the answer.

Peter, rushing in from outside: Master, the crowd have left, they said they couldn’t wait and have gone to McDonalds.

Jesus wept.

A Predictable Misconception

I worked briefly for the HFEA, who monitor and aid the regulatory process on matters such as egg and sperm donation and the whole fertility treatment process. In general I feel they do a good job in what is a difficult area, packed with religious, ethical and scientific contradictions and view points.

However they have recently had to review one of their policies concerning payment for donors and it’s hard to see how anyone, with even a scintilla of common sense, could not have predicted the outcome when it was introduced.

The amount of people donating, particularly those not related in any way to the recipients, has fallen considerably in the last few years. Two policies that were promoted by the HFEA are directly responsible for this, firstly the decision to make anonymous donations a thing of the past, along with the threat of having to pay child maintenance for the issue. Secondly the stopping of payments for donors other than reasonable expenses. One of the main groups has traditionally been young impoverished men, is it any wonder that this group now sees no point in donating along with a huge financial disincentive?

Now if the HFEA thinks that it has taken the the correct view then fine, but they are reviewing the policies due to shortages. Why is it that virtually anyone in the UK could have predicted the outcome but those paid to do so predicted just a small decrease? It’s worrying that people employed at these organisations, and there’s rarely serious interviews for the top posts, it’s still a case of who you know, seem to have such little understanding of the key issues and people’s mind sets in general.

Saudi Arabia Reaches New Low

Saudi Arabia, already one of the most backward of the developed nations in its treatment of its citizens, especially women, seems to reach ever more ridiculous and worrying heights. It is intending to execute an illiterate woman for witchcraft.

The BBC reports on the details.

This follows a high profile case whereby only a royal pardon saved a woman who had been raped by six men from receiving 200 lashes for travelling with a man who wasn't a close relative.

Reason to Smile or Reason for Smiting?

I noticed this mural in Exeter St.David's, my local railway station a while ago.

Now although at first glance it's a porter giving directions the first thing I thought of was Michelangelo's depiction of God giving life to Adam on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Now I found it enjoyable and amusing but it occurred o me that had I been of a different faith I might have found this a grave insult and immediately call for the station to be picketed by demonstrators as well as calls for the death of the artist.

There are some other scenes too, I can't say it's worth trekking to Exeter especially, just for the station art - although we do have other attractions, but if you ever happen to be there keep your eyes open.

Unfortunately, as you may notice if you view the full picture by clicking on the thumbnail above, the mural could do with some repair. I'm sure the whole work was expensive so why not spend on having it preserved, it's probably a fraction of the upkeep of the station as a whole?

I have also been unable to find out who the artist was, no-one at the station seems to know, or care in some cases. If you happen to know please could you inform me?

The Ultimate Reboot

I was reading an article on the Big Bang theory recently, how the unverse started from a singularity and began expanding to what we see today. One question was, Will it continue to expand indefinitely or will it start to contract and end up back where it started, only to re-expand and continue oscillating for ever?

Unfortunately I had also chosen to uninstall Windows Desktop Search as it was causing a problem with Outlook Express. As is the case with many Windows components it decided to restart the computer after uninstalling without so much as a by-your-leave, no warning or anything. When I'd finished cursing and managed to find the web page again it occurred to me that perhaps that's what the oscillating Big Bang theory is, the ultimate reboot. Of course I'm sure I'm not the first to have thought this.

It led to all sorts of other analogies. Perhaps the great architect of the universe sees it's all gone a bit wrong, the human race has made a mess of things because their altruism gene is flawed, the expansion rate is too high to allow the other races in the universe to communicate with each other so they never share their knowledge, there are so many things that could be different, for better or for worse of course, if only the initial conditions were infintesimally changed.

So that's what happens the universe falls back on that old stand by of IT help desks all over the world, Have you tried switching it off and back on again?

Theories of Evolution

Whilst some states in the US, such as Georgia, allow the teaching of alternatives to the standard natural selection evolutionary theory it seems some, like Nevada and Pennsylvania, seem to make it illegal to propose other views. This is a fast changing subject though, search on Google News and see how quickly things are changing.

Of course a lot of religious fervour creeps in which means that as soon as anyone states any views contrary to modern Darwinism they are accused of being a creationist and therefore anything they say is automatically unscientific and must be ignored. What they fail to realise is that the evolutionary beliefs of many are as much a religion as any creationist.

I remember studying a classic example of evolution in action, the case of moths reacting to changes in the environment caused by the industrial revolution. This appeared in many textbooks and may still do so despite the fact that the evidence is now known to have been sculpted favourably towards classic evolutionary theory, if not fabricated entirely, and can also be interpreted differently.

Here's some of my own thoughts on the matter, let me state now that at this stage I'm not putting forward an alternative hypothesis such as Intelligent Design or Creationism. I'd just like people to start thinking and discussing some of the issues with an open mind.

There are two facets to the theory, firstly that life forms have evolved from simpler to more complicated structures.

Secondly how those changes came about.

Most people seem to agree with the first statement, of course you could argue that the whole system is just designed by a greater force to look that way, but the same could be said about virtually any theory. The second one, how these changes came to occur, is the where the arguments rage.

The standard doctrine is that these changes, that gave rise to fitter specimens, came about through spontaneous genetic mutations.

There seems to be little or no factual evidence that this is the case and a large body of evidence that it is not.

A standard example comes from fruit flies, these have been experimented on for many years due to the ease of observation, relative simplicity of the species and rate of reproduction.

Scientists have let nature take its course regarding breeding as well as stimulating mutations via radioactivity, drugs and direct genetic modification etc.

In none of these experiments have any flies ever developed that were demonstrably better adapted to survival, every mutation has left them worse off. Even some borderline cases that were arguably better were only brought about by processes that were virtually impossible in the real world such as combinations of the above treatments followed by very selective breeding between two modified specimens. Even then the resulting offspring were incapable of reproduction.

What I have found is that one is not allowed to argue against this theory though without being accused of being a creationist or a religious fanatic.

I've enjoyed reading the works of Michael Behe on evolutionary theory.

I don't know how things evolved, all I can see is that the current theory lacks evidence.

Links

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• Intelligent Design
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